When you think of the X-Men, you think fantastical, mutant powers like Cyclops’ optic blast, the magnetic prowess of Magento, and the weather altering powers of Storm. Mutants and their portrayal in the Marvel universe are revealed to be awakening, with powers coming into being during puberty when other physical and emotional changes occur. Becoming a mutant is a big deal, but not everyone gets to pop claws out of their hands and gain the ability to teleport. With that, here are ten mutant powers that are just bummers to have in everyday life.
Ice Powers (Original Ice-Man)
Slush, the Snowman. Bobby is an Omega level mutant, meaning at his peak, his power level can match Magneto. However, Bobby Drake is a goofball and has no intention of living up to his potential in the current timeline. So let’s say with that lack of discipline (or lack of proper training), you were stuck as a slushy snow-person who can make ice slides and throw snowballs.
Immovable skin (The Blob)
If it didn’t seem obvious, why be the blob when there are so many other larger characters that benefit more from their size, such as Colossus and Juggernaut (although Juggernaut is not mutant, just more of an X-character).
Don’t get me wrong; the athletic abilities and strength are all valuable and practical abilities that come along with the transformation. However, the lack of control on both the evolving nature of the mutation and the borderline chaotic line between human and beast make being the beast not all that it’s cut out to be. Plus, the blue can’t help trying to assimilate into everyday society.
Portable Digestive System (Maggot aka Japheth)
Now here’s a gross one. Maggot’s powers involve sending out these creatures who consume things and return to Maggot, giving him the digestive nutrients and gaining power from what’s been eaten. Takes the term “carry out” to an all new level.
Hypersonic Scream (Banshee aka Sean Cassidy)
Having this power means you can never cheer for anything again. Nope.
Light Manipulation/ Energy Manipulation (Dazzler & Jubilee)
Unfortunately, both these ladies suffer from underwhelming, glamour styled powers that don’t evolve much past the base level. Dazzler has seen some advances in her powers, being able to manipulate light to photon levels to damage others. Jubilee, on the other hand, have seen changing power-sets over the years since her introduction, leaving much to be desired. If I ever had the misfortune to have either of these powers, I would look into work as a light specialist.
Flight Via Enlarged Wings (Angel aka Warren Worthington III)
It’s hard to justify giant wings when Rogue, Storm, and Sunfire have more practical ways to fly.
There’s a lot to love about the X-Men, but outside of the Marvel Universe, sometimes powers seem ridiculous when you’re not trashing giant sentinels.
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